The Power of a Question, Week One

1. Read John 4:1-26. How did Jesus use questions to engage with the Samaritan woman at the well? How can you use similar techniques to engage in meaningful conversations with others?
2. Read Luke 24:13-26. What lessons can we learn from Jesus' conversation with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus?
3. While Jesus never compromised on truth, what are some of the differences between approaching people with questions rather than starting with dogmatism? How do people's responses differ between these two approaches?
4. Read Mark 10:46-52. Notice how Jesus got to the heart of the matter by asking the essential question of discipleship, "What do you really want?" If Jesus were asking you that question right now, what would you answer if you heard ask, "What do you want me to do for you?"

**Prayer + Practice: **

Ask God this week to make you more genuinely interested in the lives of others and to see what he sees in people. Ask him to give you patience to take the long way and minister to them in one of the ways Jesus did with active listening and treating other people prayerfully.

You know, Jill and I usually get to speak once in a summer together. And in the past, we've done some things on parenting or marriage, but this time we're going to share something that God has kind of been dealing with us. Probably dealing with me more lately. You know, recently, you know, Jill and I are traveling a lot more, especially with what I do with missions and, you know, some vacations and visiting family. And it came very evident this past summer, we're going to Pennsylvania to visit my parents.

And somehow recently, I've been getting upgraded to first class. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm traveling more. I use my aviator card. I don't know what it is, but.

So we both get upgraded on our flight to Pennsylvania and we get in first class, and that's not normal, but it's amazing how we approach that differently because I'm like, this is my time to chill and have fun. And I look back at my wife. We're not sitting together, but I look back at my wife, and she carries a two and a half hour conversation with this lady, and I'm like, boy, that's really different. Well, I'm surprised he knew it was two and a half hours because he was like this the whole time up there. Yeah.

And. But it was really fun. She was so interesting. She was originally from Pennsylvania, but she was living in Australia. And so she just had all these cool things, you know, how they talk funny.

Anyway, and it was really cute. But she was telling me all about how she was a professor and enjoyed AI and all this kind of stuff because that's what she was working with, with technology. But I really do love meeting, meeting new people and chatting with them. But honestly, it was a little convicting to me because it came to a point where I said to myself, why don't I engage more with people? And you knew that these few past months, I've been really dealing with that and considering.

Why don't I? And what hinders me from engaging with people. So I came up mainly with two things. One is, I think that's a teachable gift, a part where you can be taught and modeled that. And I'll be honest with you, I didn't really grow up with that kind of modeling in my home.

But, you know, being married to her in July, it'll be 35 years. Being with her, 39 years, she has definitely helped me with that. She's a rock star. When you think about, you know, how to engage and ultimately care for people, and then I, secondly, I kind of thought through. Why don't I do this more?

Is, you know, I get to a point where my heart is not as big as it should be to care for people. And so I just get to that point. And I can give a lot of excuses. You know, I just got off a 14 hours flight from Uganda or, hey, I just, you know, gave and gave and gave here in Honduras or, you know, things like that. But I looking and looking and looking, and we're going to look at how Jesus conversed today.

You know, I really look at, and I think about pastor Daniel's message last night, last week about the balance you need to have in life. So the importance of community, the importance of conversations, the importance of engaging with people, but then also the time you need to refuel yourself and the solitude and the time with God that's needed in order to be able to care like we should. And so go ahead. So these next couple of weeks, we're gonna learn the importance of engaging with people and how to do that best. And we believe in the key, that the key is the power of a question.

Jesus was so good at this. And so the bottom line really, we would love to leave you all with is Jesus wants to, he wants us to care enough for people, to engage them with questions and then to see where the Holy Spirit leads with that. So, like with that lady on the plane that I first talked to, we were talking a lot about things, and I was talking about some things Dave had just recently done with missions, but I could tell she didn't really want to go there. So just to be discerning, okay, she wants to talk about her life and I was really interested in it. But just to know how to engage maybe with these things, with thoughtful questions, because they really are our most important tool, really, when we're connecting with other people and then when we build deep relationships with them, to have more questions that are powerful and emotionally driven and then earn the right to hear about their problems and be able to share Christ with them.

And of course, there is no better role model than Jesus himself. And so we're going to be talking about that today. In the gospels, we have so many pictures of what Jesus did with people and how he was so creative and how he talked to them and all of them were important no matter where they came from. And so how he impacted people with questions. Yeah.

And I think whether you're here today and you are a Jesus follower or you're here maybe today, just checking out who Jesus really is, I think there's some benefits and I believe this series can be really helpful to everyone, helpful to you in your community, helpful to you in your workplace, helpful in overall life. Because it's interesting that more and more research comes about that talks about to be successful in life and have more fulfillment in your life that your EQ, if you've heard of this, your emotional quotient is just as important as your iq. So in the past, we've always looked at IQ as your intelligent quotient. All right? It's the key to be successful in life.

We are more familiar with IQ as it quantifies your problem solving capabilities, your logical reasoning, math skills, understanding your surroundings, and even some linguistic skills. But whether you're studying to be a doctor or you're learning to use a new software at your work, higher IQ individuals better understand and apply what they are taught. So we always have looked at IQ as being, quote, how smart you are. So your iq is a point in your life, though when you hit your mid twenties, it's more stable and is not as much of something you can change. So IQ matters.

With a baseline of IQ at 100, if you get under 75, you'll experience difficulties performing routine tasks and performing, experiencing difficulties more than others. But those scoring above 135, we call them a genius. So most of us, and I don't know, most of us are in that range of 85 to 115. I don't know how many of you could say, I know what my iq today, I never wanted to find out. I don't know about you.

I never pursued what's my iq? Because I was a little worried where it might be. So what's interesting is this EQ has just come about the last 20 years. It's called your emotional, emotional quotient. And it's something related to.

It encompasses our ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions, helping us develop greater, like, self awareness in our social interactions. It also helps us better recognize and understand the emotions of others through cues such as their facial expressions, you know, the cues of their tone and their voice. And these attributes collectively provide for greater competency in areas of self regulation, motivation, empathy, and overall social skills. So it is really your ability to interact and work with people. So recently I read an article in Success magazine by this guy named Brian Lindenberger, and he talked about those with higher EQ exhibit strong communication skills, helping them to succeed in collaborative settings both at home and the office.

But people with high emotional intelligence are also more adaptable to change, are better at conflict resolution, and are valued as leaders regardless of their work title. So organizations now that hire high EQ employees, generally experiencing experience like thriving work cultures, better teamwork, improved customer loyalty and satisfaction. So nowadays, more and more businesses are looking for people with higher EQ than IQ. So, you know, Lindenberger, in this article set goes on to say, quote, if you are working, if you are looking to succeed in your workplace or your family or social relations, Eq, on the other hand, plays a bigger role than IQ. And Eq, on the other hand, data shows that EQ contributes to career success.

What is encouraging about EQ, which is different than our IQ, is that your EQ is not fixed and can be grown and can be learned. Rather, it is a skill that can be increased in your life. So it lies within your control and you can learn it. So today, wherever you are in your spiritual journey, this is something I think we can learn in the way Jesus interacted with people. Okay, so we've said, of course, Jesus was the very, very best one to show us how to use our EQ better.

And he was a master at it. And there's many places in the gospels that show this. So questions can build EQ with people. So let's see if you guys can answer this multiple choice question. How many questions did Jesus ask in the four gospels?

Does anyone know? How many says 28 a? All right, how about 98 b? 302 c or 588 d? How many think it's circumental?

Okay. How many think it's d? Okay, you guys are both right, because there were 588 questions, but they were repeated because some of the stories were repeated in the gospel. So 302 individual questions that were asked. So questions to engage others, questions to empower faith, questions to teach, questions that force his listeners to think about who he as Christ is, and then questions to counter attackers.

And so today we're going to talk about questions to engage others. Jesus used simple and very short questions to create a connection and draw people in. So you can look in your bibles if you have them in John chapter four, we're not going to have time to read the whole story. Yeah, I would encourage you to take your Bible either if you have one, or on your phone and turn to John four because it is really interesting because we can't show everything. But it's a good way to look through this and see the different questions that Jesus asked.

Yes, this week even do that maybe in your quiet time, go through it. But Jesus connects with a woman and it actually changes an entire city. We don't know her name. It's never mentioned. And other Jews wouldn't speak to this Particular Woman, but Jesus did.

She was a snubbed gender and she was within a despised race. She was a Samaritan. And Samaritans were half jewish and they believed in half pagan things. They believed in the first five books of the Old Testament, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, numbers, and DeuteRonomy. But it was mixed with these pagan beliefs.

And Jesus and his disciples one day had left Judea and they were going to Galilee. And normally jewish people, fully jewish people, would not go through Samaria. They would go around Samaria because they didn't want to go through this Unclean place. But in this town within Samaria called Sinkar, they chose to go through it that day. Jesus chose to go through it with his disciples.

And they stopped at Jacob's well. And there Jesus was thirsty and he was hungry. And the disciples went to get food and he sat there. He was all God and all man. So he had that thirst for water.

And so in order to share this story, I think they've done a really good job from the series, the chosen. They've taken some liberties with some of it. But just to get the feel of this and to notice the questions that Jesus asked and the way the conversation went, we'd like you to watch that now.

So if you read John, chapter four, of course it goes on, and it's really a great ending, but I won't ruin it for you if you don't know the story. But did you notice how Jesus initiated the conversation? He spoke first. He didn't wait for her to talk to him. And then he established common ground, talking about water.

She was coming to get water and he said he was thirsty. And then the conversation went on to, I can offer you living water. So it went on, and he was really kind and he listened really, really well. Did you notice that? There was a lot of pausing in there?

And I do think there was probably a lot of pausing. And often we. At least I know myself, I don't really like silence. I don't know why. It's like, ah, I feel like I have to talk sometimes.

And a lot of times it's really good to pause just so that people can think and process what they're thinking. And through the conversation and his questions, you can tell Jesus genuinely cared about her. He really did. And as he was listening to her, he could hear what really mattered to her. Again, he just listened.

And Jesus didn't push her into things. He let her speak without interrupting her. How often? I know I interrupt people. And as Dave said, in my house, growing up at the dinner table, my dinner was very important, all of us to be there.

And I know a lot of you are that way as well. And my parents would say, okay, each one of you share about your day and don't interrupt. And so that was something that was done every day. And if someone interrupted, it was like, no, let them finish. And so I think that that is really good.

Even though now when we all get together, we're all like the poor guys that have entered our house. They can't say a word because we're all, I have girls and our family girls. I think we're more interrupters than men. But a lot of times if we interrupt, if someone interrupts me or if I interrupt someone, I know sometimes it's hard to get our thoughts back together and what we're sharing. So I think that that is something we see with a lot, that he just really, really listens well.

And then you noticed how he didn't condemn her. He said, I don't condemn you. He didn't condemn her for where she was or who she was. And he totally knew everything about her. He didn't need to ask questions.

He didn't need to know anything. He was God. He was God. He knew everything. But he allowed her to process all of her I her thoughts and all of her things so that she could come to some more questions and maybe some more conclusions.

And Jesus was really direct, and he was simple, and he was really clear with the way he talked. He is the master question asker. And in looking at this story in John chapter four, he had three levels of questions. He had those starter questions like, can you give me a drink? And then clarifying questions, asking her after she spoke, asking her more about that.

And then he got to the emotional level with her. You know, you could feel it in that when you read John chapter four, you can feel the emotions that she's feeling. And then, as I said in the very beginning, and I will share a little bit of this through that one conversation. And you can read it, an entire city gets to know Jesus. Jesus stays there for a couple days, and all of these villagers come to know Christ through one conversation.

And I think when you look at that and you look at that text, in the end of it, she goes back to her village and says, hey, I've just met a man that told me everything about me. And she does a question to all the people in the city, could this be the messiah? And then that's when all the people come out and meet Jesus. And jesus totally transforms that whole city. So you love how they use Jesus, uses those initial questions, the engagement, but you could see all the process of him getting to an emotional level and really dealing with that.

There's one other I want to go to think to show you how he engages with others. Turn your bibles to Luke 24, and this may be a familiar text with you. It's Jesus conversation on Easter day. So Easter morning has just happened, and this is a story about two of Jesus disciples on their road to Emmaus. So Emmaus was about 7 miles away from Jerusalem.

So these two disciples are on their way. And it's interesting that Jesus joins them. And you remember that God kind of keeps them blinded to who this Jesus, that it is Jesus. And he begins this engagement by saying, what are these words that you're exchanging with one another as you were walking? And I love a red letter Bible because you can see when Jesus speaks and when he doesn't.

And it's interesting to look at this text and you see him ask that question, and then he lets them talk, even though he knows what has happened. He lets them talk all the way through until you get to verse 25 and 26. And then he begins another question to say, hey, was it not necessary for Christ to suffer these things and to enter his glory? You know, we talk about different ways. Jesus used questions.

Well, he used 17 to engage them. But by you get to verse 26, and then after 26, he uses a question to teach them. Teach them saying, hey, if you look at the Old Testament prophets and what they prophesied, the messiah was sent and it was going to go to the cross and die for the sins of mankind and then come back later and restore his kingdom. So you see that process that he goes through with these two disciples, and they finally are revealed that it's Jesus. When they stop to the night and they break the bread and they say, this was Jesus, and then Jesus disappears, they have to go right back to Jerusalem that night and tell the disciples that they have seen the risen Jesus.

So it's just interesting. You see a lot of those bookends in the stories of Jesus. He starts it with a question, he'll end with a question, but he has different ways to do that. Okay, so do you want to go to the second way to. Yes.

Yes. So we have. We see questions to engage others, and then we also see the second one, which is questions to empower faith. And this is a really good way that Jesus uses questions. So Jesus does multiple times in the gospels but the question he asked a guy named Blind Bartimaeus, he does it three times.

There's three different places in scripture. It's in Matthew 20 and in Luke 18. But if you look at mark, chapter ten, verses 46 through 52, you see the story of blind Bartimaeus. And blind Bartimaeus was sitting on the roadside in the city of Jericho, and Jesus and his disciples were walking by, and Bartimaeus kept shouting to Jesus, and he wanted his attention. And he was saying, jesus, son of David, have mercy on me.

And many were rebuking him to stop saying that he was probably being a nuisance. But by shouting, son of David, Bartimaeus was actually recognizing the fact that, that Jesus was Messiah, the king. And despite his physical blindness, he believed that Jesus was Israel's messiah. And Jesus didn't silence him. He didn't say, stop yelling.

He accepted it. And then what we first see is that Jesus actually took time to stop, see, hear, and notice. And I think that's something for all of us to take notice of. I think a lot of times we're so busy running around, we're going through the grocery line, the neighbors are out, but we don't really let them see we're leaving because we don't have five minutes. And so the fact that Jesus stopped to listen and notice this guy, first of all, I think that that's something we can learn from Jesus there.

And then Jesus asked him a clarifying question. He said, what do you want from me? Now, of course, Jesus knew what he wanted from him. He knew that Bartimaeus was blind, but Jesus desired for Bartimaeus to actually articulate his need. And the most, and most importantly, I think, his faith that he had faith that Jesus was God.

And by Bartimaeus then answering Jesus with, after, he said, what do you want me to do for you? He said, rabbi, I want to see you. And I didn't know this, but rabbi means my lord, my master. So then Jesus acknowledges Bartimaeus faith in verse 52, and he says, your faith has healed you. And then it says that Bartimaeus immediately gets up and follows Christ.

So Bartimaeus physical salvation, the deliverance from darkness to light, the blindness to sight, was actually an outward picture of what had gone on inside of him, in believing that Jesus was who he said he was. And so reading through the gospels, you can see a lot of these types of questions that Jesus asked. And he did this, I believe, so that people could process for themselves, really, these deeper things, these deeper issues, who Jesus was and the need for Christ and coming to their own conclusion. And Jesus was who he claimed to be. Jesus touched everybody's heart when he did this.

And lives, of course, were transformed that we see when we read these stories in the gospels. So you go through these five questions or the five ways that Jesus, you know, looked at it and used questions in the gospel. I think we're going to stop there today to look at those first two and then go on and cover the other three. So, you know, again, we looked today about how he engaged, used questions to engage people. He used questions to empower faith.

But you also see the process he goes through to do questions, to teach questions, to force his listeners to think about who he is. And then the last one is questions to counter attackers. So, you know, we're going to take communion today. And before we do, though, I would like you to just think about three things. You know, really, you know, you want to remember the bottom line that we talked about.

Jesus wants us to care enough for people, to engage them with questions and then see where the Holy Spirit leads. So think about that for one thing, I would encourage you this week to think about that. And as we take communion, you think this week look at ways that God opens doors for you to engage people and just start a conversation and to see where God moves in that direction. And so, and then let the Holy Spirit lead that way to them. So think about that this morning as we take communion and look at and ask God this week that you'll be more aware of an opportunity to say an engaging question, to see where God leads with it, and if there's more opportunity to go to a clarifying question and maybe an emotional question.

And I guess the second thing I would ask you to think about is maybe you're hearing Jesus say to you this morning, what do you want me to do? And maybe you're here and you've never accepted Jesus Christ as your savior. You've been around it, you've heard it. But maybe he's asking you today, what do you want me to do? And today he's using that to that question to empower your faith, to look at your life and accept Jesus Christ as your savior, to ask him to forgive you of your sins and to put him on the throne of your life.

So think about that today as we take communion. Maybe today when you take this bread and you drink this cup, it's more for you than ever because you understand the love he had for you to go to the cross and die for you. And I guess, thirdly, I would have you think this week, and as we take communion, I'd have you think about enlarging your heart for God.

Because that's where this particular series has really dealt with me in that, you know, when Jesus is encountering that woman at the well, they just had a long journey. The disciples go in to get bread because they haven't eaten and he's thirsty physically, he's worn out. And so I know for me, I can use excuses to say that person sitting beside me, I'm just going to put my cap down and I'm sleeping. But not to allow God to give me an engaging question to see where he takes it from. There has been convicting for me and not giving, giving God the opportunity to open that up.

Like Jill shared with that australian lady, you know, God didn't, you know, she shared some things about her life, but God didn't continue and she didn't ask further questions or clarifying or wasn't interested in talking, but at least she engaged with her. Well, I had my cap over my head and I'm snoring, so I don't know if you were snoring, honey. Yeah, I was snoring. So think about that this week. That, taking that and enlarging your heart to just ask that initial question, engagement, and see where God leads with it.

It's funny because if you read that text with the woman at the well, the disciples come back with food, and Jesus said, I don't need any food. I mean, I've just been empowered. I've just been doing the work of the Lord and seeing lives changed, that's food for me. That's nourishment for me. So I think going back to what Pastor Daniel talked about last week, you can't be giving, giving, giving in community and engaging with people without also a time for solitude and time with Goddesse.

If you're on this one side and you're mister and misses engagement and you're and with community, with people, you're going to wear yourself out. But only what pastor Daniel stressed with us last week. You need that time of solitude and time with God to empower you. So when God taps you on the shoulder, when you're asking questions with people, he can infuse you with further clarifying questions, further emotional questions, and we're going to talk more about that next week and how Jesus did that. He was a master at it.

And for the samaritan woman, it changed her life, changed their whole city, because Jesus was really willing to engage with an outcast somebody he never should have engaged with, of who she was.